


Simultaneous Seduction Attempts

by AuthenticAussie



Series: and we can watch the stars on the water [18]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Bad Flirting, M/M, general bad language from Zoro and Sanji, like literally they're useless and it's great, oblivious everybody, they can't flirt to save their lives, they're both idiots I swear to god
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-12
Updated: 2014-09-12
Packaged: 2018-02-16 15:20:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2274711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuthenticAussie/pseuds/AuthenticAussie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sanji lit up his cigarette, tapping his fingers against the counter top as he stared at Zoro, still lightly dripping from the impromptu dip in the water. "Okay, so I may admit that didn't go as well as I thought it would…"</p><p>"It didn't go well at all! <i>HE FELL IN THE OCEAN."</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Simultaneous Seduction Attempts

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Babblebuzz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Babblebuzz/gifts).



The door slammed, shitty green-haired marimo following the noise with what appeared to be half a glare, half an expression of panic on his features. "Sanji, how the fuck do you get people to go on dates with you?"

Sanji stared, one hand holding a frying pan with the afternoon's lunch, the other reaching for the soy sauce, and he was ninety percent sure his face looked like someone'd just told him that all of his cigarettes had just been replaced with lollipops; an appearance of pure confusion. "What?"

"I need-" Zoro crossed his arms, screwing up his lips and obviously fighting to get the words out. Was it just his imagination, or did that marimo-head look a bit...abashed?

Oh dear god, what was he getting himself into this time.

Zoro spat the word out. " _Help._ "

"Well duh, I could've told you that."

"Shut up shitty cook, this is important!"

"So is your mental state, you delusional idiot!"

"Shut up, let me finish!"

Hands busying themselves with the creation of fried rice, Sanji kept his mouth shut, indicating that he'd decided to let Zoro continue.

Curse his curiosity – this was going to get him into so much trouble, wasn't it?

"I need you to teach me how to woo people."

"DON'T YOU FUCKING TOUCH THE SHIP'S BEAUTIFUL LADIES!" His kick was blocked by the Marimo's sword, quickly drawn to prevent Sanji from caving the swordsman's head in, "THEY DESERVE BETTER THAN SOME STUPID MARIMO-HEAD!"

"I DON'T WANT TO TOUCH THEM!" Shoving Sanji's leg away, the cook only standing down because Zoro continued by screeching, "THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!"

Glaring at the marimo-head suspiciously, but relinquishing the fight to a hesitant standby while he made sure the rice didn't burn, (the ladies didn't deserve horrible trash for their lunch!) Sanji eyed Zoro suspiciously, "What the hell _did_ you mean, then?"

Yep, and abashed-awkward Zoro was back.

What the hell was his life even coming to? Was this some sort of really _really_ weird dream? If it was, he'd like to wake up now.

He could only deal with enough insanity before it started driving him bonkers, and there were more than enough crazy shenanigans when he was _awake,_ thank you very much!

"Luffy."

When had this conversation changed to their idiotic captain?

"Luffy what?"

The shitty marimo-head glared at him, looking like he'd want nothing more than to slit Sanji's throat, and proceeded in a slow tone, like he thought Sanji was being a thick-skulled idiot. (Hah! The only thick-skulled idiot in the room was Zoro, not him.)

"I _want_ to woo Luffy, but I don't know _how_ so I need your-," he spat out the word again, " _Help._ "

Sanji stared.

Stared some more.

Almost added to much soy sauce to the rice.

"You want to do _what now_!?" He shrieked, attempting to save his fried rice and stare at Zoro at the same time.

The tips of Zoro's ears were flaring a very vibrant red, making him look like some sort of upside down rose, and he looked distinctly uncomfortable. Still, he stubbornly continued. "If you can't teach-"

"Oh no, if you think I'm letting you get out of this conversation you have another thing coming! Besides, I am the Prince of romance, so even if you-"

"Prince of dumbass kingdom," Zoro muttered, crossing his arms, and Sanji glared again, whipping his leg out to try and kick the shitty swordsman from his kitchen.

"Say that again, you stupid Marimo head!"

"Dumbass!"

"Oh, who's the one barging into _my_ kitchen for _my_ advice on how to woo our captain, huh!?"

"Well you haven't given me any advice at all, so you're pretty useless, curlybrow!"

Quickly racking his brain – because he couldn't possibly let Zoro get away with such an insult when he could easily remedy it with his _fantastic_ advice, Sanji tried to think of what he did in his attempts to woo over the amazing ladies of the crew. "You must compliment him!"

"That's a fucking stupid idea, why the hell would I do that? He wouldn't even notice!"

"Oh, like you can come up with anything better! Who was the one barging into my kitchen and asking _me_ for date advice, huh?"

Their quarrel quickly dissolved into another swords-against-leg fight, loud crashes echoing through the kitchen. As they argued – effectively going nowhere – on another part of the ship, Luffy barged into Nami's room.

This, of course, ended with Nami kicking him out, but Luffy whined outside the door until she groaned and relented, letting her captain in. Flopping onto her bed like he owned it, Luffy hung his head over the edge, watching Nami upside down with an uncharacteristically serious look on his face.

Nami sat by her mirror, turning the small stool around so that she could watch her captain, and waited patiently for him to begin talking. Generally, if he decided to barge into her room and smushed himself into her bed, he had something that he wanted to discuss with her.

And, no matter how many times she'd tried to get rid of him, it'd eventually became a habit for the two.

"Nami, I need your help! I want Zoro to go on a date with _meeee_."

Of course, _that_ topic had never come up. Had she any liquid near her, she would've done quite a marvellous spit-take in surprise, but as it was she almost choked, mouth dropping open before she closed it with a sharp click.

"Uhm- Could- Can you repeat that?"

"Zoro's really awesome and cool and he's a really great swordsman and I really _really_ like him, but I don't know how to get him to make him notice!" Luffy crossed his arms, looking distinctly sulky, and Nami just stared.

Right, that didn't really make things any easier on her poor brain. Honestly, she'd kind of thought that her captain just purely didn't _care_ about romantic relationships, but now that she thought about it...

Well, Zoro and Luffy had always had an exceptionally close relationship, and it wasn't as though they'd do wrong by each other, she supposed.

Her poor mind still felt in shock though, and she took a few breaths, brow knitted as she studied her captain. She'd probably need to be _very_ careful going about this, considering that her captain would mostly likely take any advice she gave him _quite_ literally, and that wouldn't end well for anyone.

Composing sentences was still mind-numbingly difficult, but she managed. "So...you want _Zoro_ to- go on a date with you?"

Luffy looked at her like she'd suddenly become an idiot, and nodded. " _Yes._ "

"Oh captain, you _so_ owe me for this," she mumbled under her breath, running a hand through her hair, before cracking her knuckles and setting her jaw, determined. "Alright, here's what we're gonna do."

* * *

Attempt 1: START

* * *

Compliments.

 _Compliments_.

Right, he could do this. All he had to do was _compliment_ Luffy.

How hard could that possibly be?

Pretty hard, all things considered, as he hadn't managed to get past a grunt of agreement or half-raise his head every time Luffy passed him napping on the deck.

He could practically _hear_ Sanji groaning. They'd only barely managed to iron everything out the day before, and Sanji had determinedly assigned himself as Zoro's 'coach' in the 'art of love'.

Zoro couldn't say he didn't appreciate the help, but why did it have to come from _Sanji,_ of all people?

(He very firmly ignored the part of his mind that reminded him he'd been the one to originally go to Sanji asking for help, and quite sternly told that part of himself that he'd been drunk…conveniently forgetting the fact he hadn't gone near alcohol yesterday. Even if he'd really, really wanted to.)

Actually, all things considered, Sanji was probably shaking his head and rolling his eyes at Zoro's attempts to 'flirt.' The blond cook had probably lit a cigarette and determinedly ignored anything going on, starting dinner and giving up Zoro as a lost cause, thinking he was unable to even compliment someone.

Oh hell no.

No way was he going to let that damn cook beat him in _anything._ Not even if it was as round-a-bout a contest as this.

That decided, he levered himself from the comfortable position he'd occupied for a good majority of the morning, just as Luffy came around the corner, a sword attached to his hip.

 _Excellent_ , he thought to himself, giving little thought as to why Luffy was lugging around a sword in the first place. It appeared to be one from the treasure they'd gathered at Skypiea, but was quite obviously too big for his captain, as the tip dragged on the ground and he was constantly hitching up his shorts, which kept sinking down over his hips from the weight.

Zoro very firmly refused to be distracted by _that,_ either.

"Oy, captain!" Zoro called, and Luffy looked up at his shout, sunny grin on his features when he saw Zoro, and he let go of his shorts to wave at Zoro cheerfully.

His shorts slipped down again.

Zoro once again stubbornly didn't look.

"Look what I found, Zoro!" Luffy tried tugging the sword out of the sheath, and Zoro would've given a wince at the treatment of the weapon had he not already understood that while Luffy may've respected Zoro's _own_ swords, he sometimes didn't respect anyone else's.

"It looks good on you," the swordsman remarked, before giving a mental start and grinning to himself. Hey, this compliment thing wasn't too bad after all.

Luffy looked surprised for the moment, before his grin returned. "Thanks, Zoro. Hey, hey, you should teach me how to use it!"

Zoro tried not to think of all the horrible things that would occur if he even _tried_ teaching Luffy a little bit of swordsmanship, and failed miserably. He wasn't even going to touch that prospect with a ten foot pole, let alone while staying on the same ship as someone who'd most likely almost accidently slice him in half.

"Uh," he said, hesitating and trying to figure out some way to get out of it without Luffy giving him puppy dog eyes. "I have a feeling Nami wouldn't appreciate that. Besides, we have to sell the sword anyway, or she'll kill us for taking away some of the cash."

Luffy pouted, and Zoro leaned against Merry's banister, studying the sails so he didn't have to see the expression he knew would be all over Luffy's face.

Deciding to stop that line of questioning, apparently, as Zoro hadn't caved to the puppy-dog eyes, Luffy continued to make his way closer.

"It's a nice day today, huh Zoro?"

Words lay in his throat, half-choking him as they settled heavy on his tongue, and Zoro almost felt as though he'd be sick. Maybe that'd get them out with more ease, honestly.

The expression on Sanji's face, however; the one where he rolled his eyes and stared at Zoro like he was an idiot, was what forced him to gather his courage and speak up.

"Not as lovely as you," he muttered, feeling his cheeks start to burn, and Luffy missed a step, stumbling and letting out a loud yelp.

While usually Zoro's captain would've kept his balance, the heavy sword he was lugging after him for some reason got tangled up in his legs, and the rubber boy tripped, smacking into the banister.

There was another _oof_ and yelp, and Luffy flipped over the edge, plunging into the sea.

Zoro let out some choice swears, jumping overboard to go and rescue his captain from drowning.

* * *

Attempt 1: FAIL

* * *

Sanji lit up his cigarette, tapping his fingers against the counter top as he stared at Zoro, still lightly dripping from the impromptu dip in the water. "Okay, so I may admit that didn't go as well as I thought it would…"

"It didn't go well at all! _HE FELL IN THE OCEAN._ "

* * *

"So getting him to spend more time with you obviously got bust, but you should'a at least have gotten him to give you CPR," Nami remarked, and Luffy turned the colour of his shirt.

 _Oh my God,_ she thought to herself, _that is literally the best thing ever. Note to self, embarrass Luffy at every opportunity._

* * *

Attempt 2: START

* * *

"Oy, oy Sanji!" Luffy's cheery voice was what first alerted Zoro to the fact that Luffy was currently heading for the kitchen, and the pounding of his feet against the stairs made him panic, jumping for the nearest thing to hide him; which just so happened to be the cabinet.

His nose wrinkled against the smell of potatoes, and he peered through a crack in the door, debating as to why he hadn't sat at the table instead of in the pantry, especially considering that he'd probably look just _slightly_ suspicious should Luffy choose to sneak and try and grab some apples.

Sanji looked surprised at his sudden disappearance, but as Luffy had just barged inside, dragging what appeared to be a _huge_ sea king horn behind him, the blond seemed to decide that had bigger things to worry about.

Standing from the table, where he'd been jittering and constantly looking as though he'd like nothing more than to snatch the pots Zoro had been attempting to cook with, Sanji stared at Luffy, and at the sea king.

"What is that?"

"Lunch!" Luffy announced cheerily, dumping the horn and bounding over to the meat sizzling on the stove. Usopp squeezed past the giant body half-blocking the door, and Robin, Chopper and Nami followed soon after. "I'm gonna share it with Zoro."

Nami, who'd just gotten her foot past the horn, tripped in surprise and only just caught herself on Robin's back as the archaeologist stood, blinking faintly.

Usopp's eyes almost popped out of his head. Sanji fell over the back of the bench, landing on his ass, and Chopper leapt for Luffy, frantically shouting something about fevers and how dangerous they were if left untreated.

Zoro choked, smashing his head on the door of the pantry and falling out, barely missing hitting his head on the edge of the bench, and Luffy stared at the pandemonium he'd caused, brow furrowed.

Unknown to all, the pots began to smoke, and it wasn't until the scent of burning filled the air that the messy panic the kitchen had dissolved into resolved itself...

With slightly more alarm.

* * *

Attempt 2: FAIL

* * *

"I was literally helping you at every turn, how the hell did you almost manage _to burn everything!?_ "

"I can cook on a campfire," Zoro muttered rebelliously, crossing his arms.

" _YOU'RE NOT MAKING A CAMP FIRE._ "

* * *

" _WHY LUFFY, WHY!?_ "

"I love meat but I also love Zoro so if I share he'll know they're equal right!?"

" _NO!_ "

* * *

Attempt 3: START

* * *

Sweat dripped down the planes of his back, and he wiped it from his forehead with the back of his hand, weights in the other as he trained. His pants he'd rolled up to his knees, exposing the scars he'd gotten when he tried to cut off his feet, and the hot summer weather of the close-by island meant he'd probably do better practicing in the crow's nest, where there may've been a breeze, but stubbornness kept him on deck.

That, and the fact that Luffy was on deck, too, and he came by every-so often, dropping in to sit idly by Zoro as he practised or absent-mindedly staring at the swordsman.

Speaking of Luffy, the captain ran by at that point, yelping excitedly about something and chased by a shrieking Usopp and a giggling Chopper. The dark-haired boy glanced at Zoro as he ran past, and Zoro graced him with a grin as he sprinted.

There was a large _bang!_ as Luffy smashed into the mast.

Zoro's smile dropped in concern, and he moved to get closer to the mast, staring as Luffy shook his head dazedly, none the worse for wear.

There was a small surge of relief in him, and Zoro moved away, falling into the repetitive motion of lifting weights again, and Luffy went back to his game.

On Tuesday, while Zoro was practising again, shirt still firmly off in the hot weather, Luffy walked into the kitchen door.

Wednesday, he flipped over the balcony, leading to another unplanned swim, and on Thursday, Usopp asked him to put a shirt back on because Luffy kept running into things as they tried to play tag on deck.

* * *

Attempt 3: FAIL

* * *

"Oh my god, oh my god," Sanji said, half-hyperventilating and trying not to look as though someone had told him that they'd replaced all of his spices with salt, and that all the ladies on board were secretly men. "I can handle this once a week, but for god's sake just leave your shirt on!"

Zoro groaned, wishing – not for the last time – that he'd known the password to Sanji's fridge so that he could get wonderfully, blissfully drunk.

* * *

"So that didn't go very well."

"Nami _WHY,_ " Luffy moaned, making half-sob noises into her pillow and whining pitifully. " _HE'S BEEN SHIRTLESS ALL THE TIME! HE LOOKS TO COOL WHAT DO I DO?_ "

Eyuck. He captain was so buying her another pillow.

* * *

Attempt 4: START

* * *

Giving a small groan and resting his head against the banister, Zoro crossed his arms and tried to relax. Over the past week, he'd – rather unsuccessfully – been trying to follow the shitty cook's shitty advice, and it hadn't been going well.

Personally, he was rather exhausted, and had decided to now take a well-deserved nap, swords against his sides and eyes closed as he drifted off to sleep.

He had plenty of time to figure out a new tactic to use on Luffy later, and it wasn't as though he'd been getting anywhere, anyway.

Soft footsteps padded towards him, Luffy's familiar gait and the slap of his flip-flops on deck muted as he snuck up on Zoro, and the swordsman felt a sudden, soft weight on his head that almost made him start.

"You're gonna get a sunburn, Zoro," Luffy chuckled quietly, and the swordsman refrained from answering, trying to figure out what Luffy was doing.

A board creaked under Luffy's feet, but Zoro didn't hear footsteps walking away, and even though the urge to open his eyes was strong, he resisted, until his curiosity almost grew too much to bear.

Luckily for Zoro, before he opened his eyes to check on what caused his captain to stare so, he felt a soft, feather-light touch of lips to his cheek. Involuntarily, he stiffened in surprise, and Luffy froze too, before quickly scampering away, only a breath of air alerting Zoro to the fact he'd been there at all.

Opening his eyes, and blinking as he adjusted to the bright sunshine, Zoro reached up to his head, encountering the weave of Luffy's strawhat perched on his hair. He could feel his cheeks burn, but a smile pulled at his lips, even as he firmly scrubbed at the skin Luffy had kissed, feeling warm tingles race around his body.

Closing his eyes again, Zoro leaned back against the banister and drifted off to have his nap.

* * *

Attempt 4: FAIL

* * *

"Alright," Nami said, banging her hand down on the table and making Usopp, who was sitting next to her fiddling with something, jump, "We have _got_ to get a game plan. I _cannot_ stand another of these stupid _seduction_ attempts!"

Her hand banged down on the table again, both Chopper and Usopp jumping again, and Sanji lit up a cigarette. "Well, what do you propose we do, my sweet Nami-swan?"

"May I offer a suggestion?" Robin asked, raising one delicate hand, and giving quite the devilish grin.

An answering smile made its way onto the tangerine-loving girl's features. "Certainly, Robin."

And so Robin began to carefully lay out her plan, both Sanji and Nami listening intently.

Nami's sneaky grin made Chopper decide that he'd probably best brew up some general purpose medicine, just in case their plan went horribly, _horribly_ wrong.

* * *

Combined Strawhat Attempt 1: START

* * *

Lighting a cigarette, Sanji huffed out a small cloud of smoke, and appraisingly stared at the work of art in front of him.

Granted, it was Zoro and was therefore pretty awful art, but he'd done well with the limited materials he had available. Namely, Zoro's complete lack of common dress sense or super-extensive hygiene.

His sweet Nami-swan had managed to coerce Zoro into a tux, and his wonderful Robin-chan was currently fixing up her part of the plan, Usopp and Chopper both taking turns distracting Luffy while the girls worked.

Now all Sanji had to do was prevent Zoro from deciding to shed his fancy clothes and get back into his haramaki and dirty white shirt. It was proving difficult, as even subconsciously Zoro was trying to undo his tie, and Sanji smacked his hand with the end of the spoon he was using to stir the tangerine butter he'd decided to make for Nami.

Zoro glared at him for that, but Sanji merely stared evenly, challenging Zoro to say anything when he'd been the one to ask for help in the first place. The swordsman kept his mouth shut.

The door swung open on near-silent hinges, one of Robin's blossomed hands pulling it, and Sanji nudged Zoro forcefully in the back with his foot.

It _was_ only a nudge. If it'd been a kick it would've knocked him over.

The swordman stumbled, before sending Sanji a glare.

"I don't see why I have to be in a tux," Zoro grumbled grumpily, loosening his tie again, and Sanji just sighed, rolling his eyes and letting the shitty swordsman get away with it this time.

Tiny lights glimmered in the darkness, strung around the rigging by Usopp and Robin's nimble fingers, and they barely lit the deck, moonlight providing the rest of the light and leaving grey shadows between the silver and gold glow.

Luffy bounded out from their quarters, wearing a long coat that Nami had decided would look good on him, but he stopped upon seeing that Zoro was the only one on deck. An expression of confusion showed on his face, and Zoro's own look dipped, nervous frown creasing his brow and fingertips just digging into the edges of his leg, barely noticeable unless you were watching him, like the crew was currently doing.

"Eh, Zoro, where's everyone else?"

"Uh, they're all up there."

Chopper waved as Zoro pointed to the kitchen, and Luffy grinned, giving Chopper a pleased grin. "Why aren't they down here, though? I thought Nami said we were having a party."

"Yeah, she said that to me, too."

"Huh."

Zoro's eyes flicked to the side, his weight shifting to follow the movement almost imperceptibly, and their conversation stilted.

"Oh for God's sake!" Nami cried in aggravation, but before his beautiful navigator could storm down to the lower deck and smush the two stubborn idiots together, Robin's hands bloomed, grabbing their feet and pulling the two of them down onto each other.

They went down in tangle of limbs and loud yelps, Zoro flailing and Luffy awkwardly getting his limbs caught up with the swordsman's.

"Not exactly my neatest work," Robin remarked, thoughtful look on her features, before she gave an elegant shrug. "I do suppose it will have to do, however."

"NOW YOU KISS!" Nami shouted, as the two began to awkwardly stammer and climb off each other, Luffy giving loud laughs to cover his nerves and Zoro's expression two-kinds of stern, and both of them turned cherry red at the comment.

"Uh-" Luffy said, looking away, and he sat up, Zoro doing the same thing.

Neither of them moved from their close proximity, but neither did they move any closer.

Nami groaned loudly.

"For God's sake," she muttered exasperatedly, resting her head in her palms.

"Swordsman-san, I am of the understanding that you like the captain, yes?"

Zoro crossed his arms, looking stubborn and murderous, but the effect was spoiled by the red everyone could see staining his cheeks. "Well yes," And Luffy's expression lit up, bright as fire, until Zoro continued, "He's our captain."

Sanji felt like throwing himself overboard, or at least screaming in frustration at the dense idiots that sat in front of them.

"Well, captain, don't you like our swordsman?"

"Yeah!" Zoro's expression did the same thing Luffy's had a few moments ago, muted and disguised but there none the less, and once again the pattern repeated itself. "He's Zoro and he's gonna be the greatest swordsman _ever._ "

Zoro's face fell and now Nami looked potentially deadly.

"You two," she started slowly, eyes narrowed as she stalked down the stair case, "Are the biggest pair of love-struck idiots I have _ever met_!"

Bashing them both upside the head, Zoro cursing at her and Luffy pouting and whining, she then proceeded to point at them in turn.

"Luffy, you like Zoro. _That is not a question_. And Zoro, you like Luffy. That's _also_ not a question!" Folding her arms firmly and glaring at the two, Nami continued, "And don't even try that bullshit about being 'our captain' or that shit about 'greatest swordsman'. _We're going to be driven crazy!_ "

"By what?" Luffy had the audacity to ask his infuriated Nami-swan, and she stared at him, eye twitching just barely in rage.

A calm, destructive smile spread across her face, and both teens shivered.

"Robin," the navigator called sweetly, batting her eyelashes at the archaeologist. "It's time for plan B, before I smash their heads in."

Robin looked distinctly amused by that statement, and feet bloomed underneath Zoro and Luffy, quickly carrying them away, even amidst protests. There was little they could do about it, however, and both Zoro and Luffy were soon locked into Nami's map room, which she'd cleared out for this sole reason, unsure of how long it'd take the two idiots to admit their feelings, considering how long it'd taken them to even admit they _had_ feelings.

Locking the door as Robin's feet vanished, Nami leaned against the wood, flipping the key from one hand to another.

"Oy, Nami! Let us out!" Zoro ordered, pounding at the inside of the door.

She scoffed, huffing at him, and Sanji nearly swooned at her strength of will. "No way! If you want to get out, you have to get over yourselves and just _admit_ that you like each other. Otherwise you can stay locked in there until you die of old age!"

Luffy whined pathetically, scratching at the door, "But _Namiiii,_ there's nothing to say!"

"Oh yes there is! Don't even _try_ and play dumb with me, or you're never getting near another of my tangerines _again._ "

"C'mon you guys," Usopp's voice was quiet, the first he'd spoken almost all night to the two, and he sounded vaguely pleading. "You both like each other, and you've both told pretty much everyone on the crew _but_ each other!"

There was a muffled sound from behind the doorway, and the whole crew craned forwards, half-pressing themselves against the door in an effort to hear better.

Although slightly muffled by the wood and the low voices Zoro and Luffy were conversing in, the rest of the crew still managed to pick it up fairly clearly.

" _Do_ you like me?" Was Luffy, careful and quiet in a way that he usually wasn't, and there was a clink of sheathes as Zoro fidgeted and shifted.

"I-, uh-,"

"'Cause," Luffy's words were almost blurted out, desperate and quick before Zoro could finish, "See, I like you, Zoro. A whole lot."

There was a very long period of silence behind the door, broken only by their breathing, and Nami could feel her heart thumping in her chest. Maybe they hadn't done the right thing; maybe it'd been better to leave them to their own devices rather than meddle, especially since Zoro hadn't answered, and the awkward silence was stretching on for far, far too long.

Her fingers itched to open the door and check on them, but she firmly withheld the urge, knowing that if she interrupted them now, the uncomfortable tension would linger over all of them for weeks and weeks.

Zoro spoke up again, making them all jump and press even closer, and there was a light hum to his words, as though he tried to speak through clenched teeth. "I-, I like you too, Captain."

"A lot?" Luffy questioned, sounding just a little bit desperate.

There was another pause, Zoro's voice cracking when he spoke, "More than a lot."

Nami felt the tension in her shoulders ease, and the crew almost all sighed in unison, thoroughly relieved at the turn of events.

Luffy gave a light, elated chuckle, that quickly burst into full blown peals of laughter, and Zoro joined him. It infected the rest of the crew too, their smiles growing and laughter bubbling in the night air.

Slipping the key into the lock, Nami opened the door and Luffy and Zoro both blinked, looking slightly surprised at their audience.

"Fucking _finally,_ " Sanji said, expressing what they were all essentially thinking, and Zoro gave him the middle-finger, and a look of distaste.

"We still have a party to finish, right?" Luffy questioned, ignoring that exchange, and the expression on his face was one of pure excitement. Nami glanced to Robin, who shrugged, smile still on her face.

"Certainly, Captain."

Digging out an old radio, Sanji tuned it carefully, finding only one channel of old swing tunes, but none of them cared, happily dancing along to the tune, whether it was the one playing from the machine or the one in their heads.

Luffy and Zoro stayed in each other's arms the entire night long, tripping over each other's feet but never moving far away; within a normal arm's reach, not matter how they swayed or danced. Even when Luffy's laugh burst in the air, floating and drifting around them like the stars on the water, and Zoro's features adopted a look of fond exasperation, they stayed close.

And when the rest of the crew's feet finally grew sore, and they each retired to sleep, the captain and his first mate stayed out in the dark and the silver glow of the moon.

* * *

Combined Strawhat Attempt 1: SUCCESS (Finally)

* * *

"Oh thank fucking god, I have no idea how much longer I would've lasted those two idiots."

"Oh you think _you_ had it bad? I had to try and figure out how to get _Luffy_ organised! _LUFFY!_ "

**Author's Note:**

> An art trade with the gorgeous, glorious Babblebuzz! They drew me a title page for my work in progress superhero AU, Ashes to Ashes
> 
> Check it out here! (http://authenticaussie.tumblr.com/post/96344821875/babbledraws-ahah-im-sure-ill-have-to-fix-a#permalink-notes)
> 
> (It also contains a sneak-peek of chapter one, if that'll entice you, ahah.)


End file.
